A journey towards wellness is a sequence of a thousand steps. That's really all we can do, what is right in front of us in this moment. Sometimes those steps are not filled with marshmallows and puppies. Sometimes the most loving thing to do can feel cruel and harsh in the moment. Over the years I've had to distance myself from a lot of people. Some of them were dear friends, some of them lovers, some of them family members. The pulling away was not fun and I really did not enjoy the process one bit but, at some point you have to put your wellness first. As I've said many times you are the foundation block of your entire life. Everything you build you build from the inside out. So to not take care of who you are means that everything you build is on shoddy ground. So many people I have come across over the years have just never had the languageing skill of self respect. We so often think that it's about how other people behave around you but that's not really what respect is at it's core. It's about how you conduct yourself in any situation. Manners, compassion, social graces are all part of self respect. It is how you chose to honour who you are.
Drawing a boundary within your life first begins inwardly. You first have to decide that you are worth protecting. You are worth respecting. You are worthy of being loved and you are worth the ability to love. You deserve a life that looks like you. You deserve a life that feels honest. That's not to say that it will always be fun. Everyone's journey is littered with pain but that pain doesn't need to be a monument. Bit by bit, piece by piece you can create life for yourself that is an honest and accurate expression of your most authentic self. For me that has included simple things like making sure I am self employed, making sure I am creatively and spiritually active and also making sure that I am self aware enough to ask for the things I feel like I need and want. I definitely learned the “put up and shut up” habit that seems pervasive in our culture. These days I express myself much more but I'd be lying if I said I did it all the time. There is still sometimes a small window where I wrestle asking for what I feel like I need but I get out of that space a lot quicker than I used to.
My point is a journey towards expressing and living a love centred life doesn't always feel like sunshine. But it can feel honest. We all have had those moments where we have had to let someone go out of our lives and live through that horrible space but the truth of that doesn't change. The truth that it needs to be done doesn't alter. So with this in mind, where in your life are you not being true to yourself? Where in your life are you lying to yourself? Where in your life are you not showing up? Playing small is chronic socially so why not show up where you are?! I completely believe in the magic and miracle of the human spirit. I have seen so many examples first hand of people transcending horrific situations and becoming their most authentic selves. It is possible for every person out there is you are willing to live by your own truth and not betray yourself any more. Be willing to live without lies. Once you get to the foundation of who you are you really can build something beautiful.
Thank you for reading,
Ryan James x