Rumour after rumour about me was filling my social circle, each getting more fantastical than the next. I swear some of the creativity that went into saying mean things about me could have filled a few books and my only wish was that the people perpetrating them would channel their energy in a better way. But that was something I had no control over. This was the second time around that I had been attacked in this way. Attempts at public humiliation. Shaming. I had faced it during my childhood when bullying had eclipsed any joy in my life. Back then I had no skill set to cope with it and I was just too young to really have any defined self. I think the fragments of that unresolved pain actually laid the ground work for it to be repeated in my adulthood but, this time around I knew what to do. When I was younger and someone attacked me verbally I would retaliate. I would engage in a “tit for tat” mentality. I thought that I had to “defend” myself so that they wouldn't feel like they had won. The truth was the second I engaged in their energy they had already won. They had invited me into their narrative and I had accepted. Through my words, my actions and my reactions I had stepped into their muddy intentions for me and in doing so walked right into the story they had written about me.
It's true what people say that when someone can't control you, they try to control how others see you and I totally understand the protective nature within yourself to want to stop that from happening but, you can't. You can't control what other people think and if someone is going to make their mind up about you because of what someone else has said, do you really want that person around you anyway? I have been called everything under the sun. I'm a gay man, an artist, a psychic, a spiritual seeker, all of which has been the butt of many jokes around me but, what I have learned is that when people attack they are actually doing something very crucial for your spiritual growth. They are inviting you to see the truth of who THEY are and in that space you are forced to decide where to put your energy. In that moment you are forced to define what value you place on who you are and where you are going to focus. Are you going to join them in their rage or are you going to begin the process of learning to love them from a distance? Are you going to give them the power in a situation or are you going to surrender the whole thing to a power greater than both of you? I do my best to put my focus on the energies of “love and above”. Hurting someone else is not something that really interests me and it serves nothing. So when this energy shows up in my life I surrender it and carry on.
Don't confuse this with just burying your head in the sand. Sometimes when human beings are “un coupling” in any form there are some legitimate things that need to be addressed and frustrations are inevitable. Just don't make them the basis for your emotional setting. One of the things that freed me from those kinds of entanglments was the understanding that no matter what someone had done to me that I deserved to feel good about them. I've watched the faces of people who are hurling insults at me squirm as they are faced with nothing other than a smile from me. When the invitation to join their rage isn't honoured they are forced to deal with it themselves. If this is happening to you in any way I suggest you do whatever you can to find the space of love within yourself. At the end of the day these people are only in your life because they answered your call to be there. They are there to teach you the value YOU place on your own energy. The more you learn to stay in the space of love the less these people will turn up. The good things about these interactions is that once these people leave your life they will often take with them anyone on their level. Let them go. Stay in the space of light. As some people leave, new people will turn up. It's just how the world works. Good luck!
Thank you for reading,
Ryan James x
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